was i about to blog? char’s here. we’re doing something different in the morning. we’ve had conversation tonight. we’ve talked to a handful of others. we wonder what we’re doing. we wonder about it all.
nola. because it’s something to blog about. it’s the grand distraction.
remind me, please, to call in sick in the morning. i might just forget and sleep right through it for chrissake.
i’ve taken a break from this because i didn’t want this to be a diary. and at the same time, i didn’t want to be dishonest here, or with myself. and i’ve not rectified the two to date. well, for the moment, at least.
breathe into my ear, course through my veins. tilt my head back with closed eyes and tell me this is living.
and i forgot to tell you that i did read salinger’s teddy, and it was a literally breathtaking short story.
and sigur ros is back in the player ’cause i need it for medication, but i just know i’m gonna end up buying the new outkast. i love those crazy mothers.
i heard
i heard on friday that google is thinking of an IPO, and in the spirit of itself, i guess, is considering offering it to investors online. the problem is, that opens it up to daytraders and that’s risky. risky because daytraders are are fickle and flaky and will buy up the stock in bundles and unload the next day. and that’s no good for trying to shore up a steady pool of investors. or for maintaining a stable stock price.
why am i typing about something i don’t really care about, encantada?
i just wrote that to see if it could start me writing down some path to something. i heard tonight that if the captain of your ship doesn’t know where he’s going, there’s no wind in the world that will get him there.
how was that? no, still not taking me down any path.
i’m lying on the floor, on my stomach, with my head down and eyes closed, typing with my fingers out in front of me like superman. or woman, clearly. oh yes, shtty laptop is my company on the carpet as well. i better not fall asleep down here again. i’m a superb carpet sleeper, come to find out. i came to find that out on saturday night, much to my surprise two hours later.
treebeard’s downtown has fabulous etouffe. i reminded myself of that fact today at lunch. turns out this professional organization i’m required to hold membership in is having a development conference in nola this week for chrissake. i could have spent the entire week and weekend in nola and i didn’t realize it until today. that’s one of those itchy little bitches. but i’ll just fake the flu on friday, get out of town with MY FRIEND WHO HAS FALLEN IN LOVE, and find nola myself, on my own, in my own time, with a soundtrack.
i think i keep talking about nola (new orleans louisiana) because it’s a grand distraction. and i love grand distractions.
as well, i have crossed the line to where i very much hate my job. it’s fine because we all do that, but i fear that i’m doing it a little too soon this time. i keep thinking of jennifer aniston’s line in office space when she tells ron livingston that everyone hates their job. that it’s just a big lie that people enjoy working.
i tend to agree with that.
which is why i don’t think i need to work anymore. again. ever.
i might just have to pull an early-90’s-move-to-van[couver]-and-live-on-welfare-with-my-friends sort of move.
or i could retire.
i’m ready to retire, world. i’m done contributing to my social security. i’m gonna retire on 5 grand. that’ll set me up right nice-
It’s cold outside; it’s awesome
So the Orgasmatron is real. Fancy that. And it’s named, The Slightest Touch…
I just logged on to peek, one eye at a time, at my checking account balance, when lo and behold, I decided to see what Plastic was up to. Plastic, apparently, was up to the orgasmatron. heh,heh.
After a full Saturday of almost-constant rain, a cold front has blown in to Houston and it’s cold. And Fabulous.
Tonight I’m Brassy
Tonight it’s nostalgia. It’s Chet Baker and Air and Nortec Collective and Enon. Tonight it’s 2 full-to-the-rim glasses of Pinot and remembering conversations. Tonight, it’s considering telling Matthew to make me brown instead of blonde, and going anywhere possible to feel a cool breeze on my face and brushing past my neck. Tonight, my past feels glittered instead of composted. Little Personal Fantasias seem possible instead of predisposed. I think I can do this.
I think I can surprise you.
Hmm
“Law enforcement officials are probing a “significant” series of computer attacks launched in the past week that inadvertently took down blogs such as Instapundit and Command Post.”
Heh – kinda funny:
“Survey: Porn Found Often on Work Computers Associated Press, Thursday, 10/23/03
Two-thirds of human resources professionals say they’ve discovered pornography on employee computers. Nearly half of those, 43%, say they found such material more than once.”
I didn’t even know there were “Radio Pirates”
“Indie Radio Beats the FCC: Little guys drown out big media”
So I don’t really mean it
…when i say “old people”. I’m talking about a frame of mind – a specific frame of mind – that I liken to a resignation to the ending of freshness and renewal. Maybe I should say “Closed Minds” or “Staunch Expectations” or something of that nature. I’m hoping you understand what I mean.
I am, to be sure, no kinda poet like this one is. I’m sad about Elliott Smith. I wanted to see him. I’ve wanted to catch a show for the last 6 years and now I can’t (but that’s, of course, not why I am sad about him).
I’m really, really looking forward to going to New Orleans. I’m going to New Orleans, World. AFter a 2-year dry spell, I’m going back to a fabulous city with so many secret treasures that I can’t wait to both revisit and discover as many as I can. SOE and I are going to hear fabulous music. We’re going to see interesting people. We’re actually looking forward to the drive, which by some would be ridiculous, but by virtue of “the way we do it”, will be nothing short of an unforgettable event that I am in every way looking forward to.
And lastly, I was supposed to have lunch with the downtown contingent of the “H-town Bloggers” when I had to cancel at the last minute because of work. So, there’s this rule when you post to the listserv that you include your blog. And it wasn’t until today that I realized that anyone who clicked on Encantada yesterday was greeted by the rant about “old people”.
Sweet.
Bet they’ve got a fabulous first impression of Encantada. Bet they think I’m a bitchy ungrateful kid.
Old Fkn People
I wonder how I elicit such a negative response in you. I wonder why you are so rigid and unable to stretch beyond your comfortable stature. I wonder why I am so alarming, why it is (to you) that I need to compress, extinguish my flame, while you need to sit back with your cigar and judge. Is it easier to tell me that you’re watching? Is it easier to correct me and not yourself? I say, after our conversation late last night, that you take advantage of the self-aware girl, of the one committed to improvement and knowledge. I say you’re given a liberty here to criticize one who will listen and consider instead of defending. I realize now that my consideration of your judgment is a privilege that you have not earned. It’s too easy for you.
I say you’re still in your twenties, but you’re aging yourself, friend. You’re old and you want to make me old too.
And this time, instead of saying “Be Careful, L,” which was always loaded and not intended to mean I care for you, take care, you said, “Don’t do anything stupid.” Well, the thing is, I will. I will do sometimes-stupid things. I am living and I will stumble and I don’t regret those. I will live vibrantly, with energy, because really, I’m conservative enough as is. And you don’t actually have to worry about me. I’ll not race with the lemurs off the proverbial edge. I’ll not ever listen again when you tell me, for no real reason but to illicit guilt, “I’m worried about you.” Because guess what Closed Eyes, I am not.
What am I doing that is so wrong? So frightening?
What audacity to think you should change another person. What limitation to love one aspect of another, and not accept the rest.
No, I will not remove a post about “that which” I like. And yes, I’ll most likely stay this course instead of the one you’d like to mold for me. I’m past the point of appreciating your efforts. Now, I’m deflecting them.
And as rants go, I shouldn’t be doing this at work, goddamit. Not only have you angered me, but now I’ll blame you for losing my job when I’m caught again by the SERIOUS SPYWARE! Argh!
Wow, this is so great to see right now.
Remind me to remember it.
And the implications.
