i feel like it’s been a great week. I don’t say that often and I think perhaps that’s because I might not want to admit it so often because perhaps admitting means stagnating, but I’m happy. I’ve been happy. Things feel good to me. And I’ll move forward with this and not sit here; i’ll leave my stagnation galoshes right here at the door.

I’ve neglected to tell you so much. There have been months of stories to relay. Camping, beaches, rock shows, dinners, movies, conversations, parties. Last night I drove to have dinner with Kelly at a suburbanized Japanese hibachi grill place. It was good of course, over-salted and over-sweetened but we didn’t care, and we laughingly over-ate and made fun of the engrish on the menu and the teenagers in residence. In fact, I took a picture of one instance, but I can’t upload it here at the office.

Perhaps I’ve been feeling great because I’ve been exercising everyday. Perhaps it’s other things. When I maintain daily aerobic stimulation and get sleep, I completely understand how a person can get addicted to it, to the regimen and to the push and the peaky sweaty salty exertion. It is so fkking good. Endorphins are nothing to sniff at. In fact, their mood-altering quality is the best dopamine I’ve experienced outside of love and excited anticipation. Those two are good dope too.

My mind is open and willing again to explore and out of the cautious be-gentle-with-me, not-right-now coat I’d been pulling tightly around me for awhile. I’ve got actual work to do at work and thank god for that. I’ve recently gotten back in touch with some old friends. I haven’t seen them yet, but I called some, and that was good. It felt good. One guy, yesterday, a kid who I used to sneak away to Houston with in high school to ridiculously sweaty punk clubs to see ska bands and drink coffee at Dietrich’s on Hazzard and Westheimer, he called to tell me some very sad news about a girl that we knew. But in the process we caught up with everything about each other and his life is good and he snowboards in Switzerland and travels often to London and asked about my sister and I’m really happy for him.

In my drive yesterday, I listened hard again to Tripping Daisy. After a fun little foray into Ghostland Observatory, I listened to Jesus Hits Like the Atom Bomb for 3 iterations. I’ve ignored them for 6 solid years, having filed the band in my mind under the category of stylistically old and done with, the 90’s. I was wrong. It was good, Tim’s album was good and it took me back completely unexpectedly to a thousand nights in Dallas when we’d see them, before the overdose, at Gypsy Tea Room because at that time in that town, they were pretty much the resident house band and our friends. I remembered a thousand parties and I remembered as many conversations. I remember the first time Eric Martin introduced me to the Pixies in the back of Jeremy’s almost broken-down 90’s era SUV with Jon in the passenger seat before heading off to a show. And I remember him turning to me after an especially feverish 3-minute rock and saying, now do you understand Tripping Daisy? What he meant was, can you see the influence? Can you see why? And I cocked my head and didn’t give a shit about Tripping Daisy because I had just been introduced to THE PIXIES and that moment changed my life for the next 5 years, dramatically. The Pixies still floor me. Listening to TD again last night though, what I could really hear were Tim DeLaughter’s influences before the death and before Polyphonic Spree. The album wasn’t old, 90’s-era radio pap. Not at all. It was Supergrass and a little bit of Radiohead’s The Bends and a little Pixies, sure, and a bit of Luna too. More than anything though, what I came to understand last night wasn’t that band, it was my friends’ band at that time that I came to understand. Hearing them…what I heard, unequivocally, was hi fi drowning. And I didn’t think this before, but now I see a huge TD influence stamped across the forehead of Eric and Jeremy and what they were writing then. That was an interesting discovery.

Perhaps I’m feeling good because I’m seriously anticipating a trip I’m about to take with Char. We’re leaving tomorrow after work and as of now, it cannot come fast enough. We’re heading to Seattle, which I love. We’ve rented a car, we’re visiting friends, crashing a wedding, driving north to Canada and spending the week in Van. It’s not that this trip couldn’t have come at a better time. That’s not it at all. It’s that the trip is here now, I’m leaving tomorrow, and it’s not something I’m planning for or having to look forward to for the future. I’m just really glad.

And, talking to Jon and Missie, 3 days after having their baby, was one of the coolest things I’ve experienced, ever. Their boy was 3 days old. They were both breathless and high and elated and full of details of every single moment, and she was just outright surprised that she’d just done it. I’m just so proud of and impressed with her.

I absolutely LOVE asofterworld.com. 

In other news, Jason’s back. In Houston (shocked) and on The Triangle.  Glad to see you again, J.

We are to have meat swords tonight.
and i can’t wait.

As if this is any kind of secret code.

Like, I want to see the assholes get their flat tires today already. In front of me; almost immediately, and then scratch their paint coming into the garage and stub their toe and hit their funny bone too. ah ha… I’m not looking for “where’s mine.” It’s that, when someone really needs to learn a lesson, it’s hard to get by with an “it’ll come around to them in time.” No! Learn the lesson dude! So that tomorrow you don’t pull this shit again! Not 10 years from now, tomorrow! Why can’t zen be the art of immediate delicious gratification? ‘;)

The same goes for karmic blessings. Wouldn’t it be lovely if rewards came faster so that you knew to stick to what you’ve been doing? “Yes, I’ll go with this. See, there’s the blessing on my doorstep, directly relating to that last choice. Conclusion: i’ll go with this one.” Yeah, yeah; forget the obvious implications. Blessings do happen immediately if you’re of the mindframe to perceive them. Yeah; yeah. I’m just saying. I have too many good things to choose from.

Speaking of, a work friend told me recently that he was trying to explain me to his girlfriend. Hmm. So he tells me, “You’re like Sarah Jessica Parker in Failure to Launch.” I’m honeslty like, “WHAT?? How do you figure?” He finishes with, “Yeah, you want your cake and to eat it too.”

crickets.

Money magazine told me this morning in its article on “7 Steps to Uncovering Hidden Assets” that procrastination is an exercise in pain avoidance. Thanks Money magazine; that one burns a little as it goes down. In my last writing class last Wednesday, we discussed figurative castration. Geez. All coming together for me now.

Michael from Massive Improv told me today:
Just like most people, I’ve had ups and downs, fell in love and lost love, and drank Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk out of the can. I have learned from all of those things that life is what you perceive it to be. If you feel unhappy, then that is what you are. If you feel as if life just keeps getting better then it is. And it is. I want the people around me to be having as much fun as I am. I want my TiVo to never fuck up and accidentally record the Mexican channel instead of “24″. I want the Rockets, Astros, and Texans to always be in playoff contention. I want scientists to invent junk food that is good for you. I want to never grow old unless its with someone I love. I want my cat Paxil to quit pissing on my couch. I want to win the World Series of Poker someday. I want to win an Oscar, Emmy, and Grammy all in the same year. I want people to like me. If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

I’ve never had sweetened condensed milk out of the can, but that’s pretty funny. My cat honestly SHOULD be name Paxil. Paxil von Quitfkkingbitingmefkkerstein.